Good evening ladies and gents..how's everybody doing tonight?

as the other half of two point five comfortably writes from the placates of her soft, cotton Hello Kitty robe to post her premier thoughts about how it took us forever and a day to start this thing--what i like to call giving a visual picture to the clutter of what others would call our brains.

i hope the masterpiece looks more like the ingenious work of Ernie Barnes and not randoms globs of paint. i waste away from boredom surrounded by the ennui of nothingness and the dry mechanically cooled air of an empty gym, otherwise known as work; ON A SUNDAY FOR BRITNEY'S SAKE.

however, i'm laughing because i know it was like trying to slide your debit card quick enough in the ticket machine at the movies with nine inch nails, for Tatiana not to use SAT words like propagate, pellucid, pendulous, and pulchritude.

my thoughts also revert back to my daydreams about my current crush (i seem to have a lot of those these days), and the CNN segment of how some evangelist lost his following because he can no longer rationalize that Jesus would refuse to help any of God's children. It so peculiar that the most sundry of things make Americans tick (Americans, meaning that's what i'm going to call those that carry bibles, or what have you, but are quick to condemn). Considering America is the mutts of all mutts and i'm not just talking about ethnicity either. i'll stop there, no need for wedgies to form.

simultaneously, i am visualizing my twelve day wardrobe for my long awaited trip back home. Notice any meandering, if you do don't feel bad because that pretty much describes Ms. King and i when it comes to conversating (ha! ha! and goes the red indentation that such is not a word).

i definitely was not first to post on the site, however i wish all those that are listening to "violet stars and happy hunting," a special cling of champagne glasses. Kudos goes out to Janelle Monaé—literally overnight i'm officially your biggest fan.

the hustler flow from the speakers of the gym bring me back to life as a hum along, "I'm so far ahead of my time, i'm bout to start another life behind you, i'm bout to pass you twice, back to the future and gotta slow up for the present i'm fast, ---- can't get past my past!" Oddly, as i look out the window a rotund-like fella has on a smedium shirt that reads, "i'm not smiling, i'm passing gas." How grotesque and strangely fucking hilarious.

sadly, back to my reality of folding towels and aimless imaginings, i gotta get a job that pays salary. No more hourly joints. i'm out!

our self-proclaimed rhetoric, critique, and beautiful bullshit rants will presume the next time our black hole like brains slows down enough to give us the inclination that it's time to do laundry. Just to add, i desperately NEED a pair of Aldo's fuschia Sarnia pumps.

lemons or lemonade people! And lastly, a special lacing of Adidas' Superstar shelltoes go out to Reverend Run because of you Hip Hop will always be in my heart.

Welcome To The Rest of Your Life...

FIRST!!!!

Aaah…that exclamation always hits a soft spot in my heart. It reminds me of the countless hours of being trapped in the “bored-to-tears” doldrums that prompts me to visit gossip blog sites and read the endless streams of “FIRST!” variations. I have to admit that one of my favorites is “FIRST B!TCHES!!”. It stirs up so much tender emotion…to think that I wasn’t first in posting on a topic. I wasn’t the first to have my eyes glaze over with minute interest. I say if you’re not first, you’re last—and I don’t like losing. Losing makes me curl in the fetal position and nurse a box of Mike and Ike’s in sorrow...but hey let’s not get into that…

So as I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to introduce myself to the world, my little Winamp module is doing a horrible job of randomizing my music library. Why do I want to listen to the Howard University Marching Band at 2AM? Does it know that secretly I tie my Hello Kitty towel around my shoulders like a cape and start high stepping in my living room, pretending the kitchen table is the 50 yard line?--I don’t think so Winamp.

So….why am I here? It’s simple. I’m here to announce that for you—your time is up.

I have waited long enough for you to listen to what I have to say, and quite frankly my left foot has fallen asleep. My dear friend Kaia and I have built a haven of intellect, humor, and opinion on the varying occurrences of the world. A haven built on our jubilant words of mirth and elation; words that are light and airy and taste like chicken or turkey, depending upon who’s eating and how much rum they drank….

Whether we are bothered, amused, shocked, disgusted, surprised, bored by, or simply irreversibly confused by these random idiosyncrasies of society—we’ll let you know.

But dammit all to pieces, you’ve taken FOREVER to get here. Where have you been? Didn’t I tell you to get in this house when the street lights came on? Don’t make me take my belt off…

Look…we built you a glorious city of word-ly knowledge. We made it out of pipe cleaners, glitter, and laffy taffy—just for you. Yet you sit there and procrastinate. You’re late guy…

I’m disappointed in you.

Yes.

You.